Why the Gryphon router was my favorite buy of 2021
I have four kids, now all tweens and teens. And I’m someone who (as you might observe) cares a lot about screen use. I care for them as much, or probably more, than for me. I’ve written about this here, here, and here.
A mom once told me that the single worst part of modern parenting, in her view, was managing her kids’ screens… and, presumably, navigating the tensions and arguments within that realm. I can very much relate.
The best thing that happened to our family in 2021, in terms of screen life, was the Gryphon router. Every single day I’m grateful we have it, and for all the ways it helps me live my values in our home. (Please note that I am not a sponsor and have no relationship with Gryphon, except being a customer.)
The Gryphon is a router designed to easily allow parents to monitor and control all devices connected to the internet in their home, in a robust yet simple way. My Gryphon lets me:
view, to the minute, how much internet has been used on any given device on any given day
turn wifi on or off to any device in the house, at any time
program the amount of wifi I want to allow on any device for a day, ahead of time (and adjust it when necessary)
check what websites have been visited on a device
turn on a ‘homework mode’ where users of a device can’t access certain sites (like YouTube or social media)
This isn’t an exhaustive list. And all this can be done with the click of a button from my smartphone.
This device has changed the tone and tenor of our household dramatically. It’s taken almost all of the confusion, struggle, and arguments out of the conversations.
I don’t have to debate with my son whether he’s done 55 minutes of video game time or 70 minutes - is he over (my view) or under (his)? Before the Gryphon, we would never know - or agree.
I don’t have to tell people to get off the iPad when they aren’t supposed to be on it.
I don’t have to worry, when I go to bed, that a kid is going to get up when they can’t sleep and get on their school-issued chromebook in the wee hours.
It’s a tremendous asset.
Here’s what the Gryphon isn’t. It isn’t an alternate to clearly communicated limits. It isn’t a replacement for a healthy, conversation-rich relationship with your kid about screen use. It isn’t a way to insert values magically and wordlessly. It doesn’t install an internal filter (as my friend Emily Jones at Family Tech University calls it), the thing they most need, on your kid when they’re using a screen.
But it reinforces all these things beautifully. It allows healthy limits to be silently enforced. And it gives parents a lot of crucial information about what’s going on with devices in the house.
In my opinion, the most under-discussed aspects of the conversation about screens - whether phones, video games, or other devices - is the role of temptation. Devices are temptation machines. And I’m not talking about porn (although that issue’s certainly there too). I’m a 45-year-old woman, and devices tempt me all day long to do things I don’t actually want to do - to check social media when I should be working. To reply to a group chat when I’m in the bathroom. To text while driving. Devices are the proverbial angel whispering into our society’s ear, “What’s the big deal? It’ll just take a second. You know you want to.”
And the devices themselves erode self-control. The more you use devices, the more you need self-control to use them well… and the less self-control you find that you actually have (because the addictive nature of the device causes it to wane). It’s a terrible paradox.
Our children are under an assault of temptation, an absolute assault. All day long they’re in front of screens, and all day long they’re having to decide if they’ll stay on them or get off. (Unpromted, they usually stay.) Decide if they’ll use them as intended or click over to YouTube. Decide if they’ll make eye contact with the person before them or keep scrolling on their screen. It’s war.
So from where I sit, there is compassion in the Gryphon (and other tools like it). We’re reducing the temptation and making it easier for them to choose wisely. We’re cutting them a break. We’re giving them a rest.
To find out more about the Gryphon and how it works, check out my friend Andrea Davis (of Better Screen Time)’s detail review and guide. It was what got me started. (Between that and the excellent chat support at Gryphon itself, I was up, running, and all set in a matter of hours.)
Is it perfect? No. Is it awesome? Yes.
If you get one, let me know how you like it!
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